My Sister Sara

My family was delivered a huge blow early in the morning on Sunday July 27, 2008. My sweet sister Sara passed away. She was 36 years old and was the loving mother to two beautiful children. I am sure this is all a bad dream and I will wake up and be able to see her and talk to her again. This has been the most difficult trial I have had to face in my life so far. I lost my brother Aaron on Christmas Eve last year. We had a graveside service for him in early January. As I started to recovered from his death (it was unexpected also, but a blessing knowing he is with Heavenly Father and no longer has to suffer on this earth.) this devistating news came. My sister and I have always been very close. We had our typical "sister fights", but at the end of the day, those didn't matter because we had each other. Her death has not just affected me, but everyone who's life she touched. Many people attended her funeral and it reminded me how loved she was. My poor parents and brothers, I cannot believe that we have to go through this again. I see how hard it has been on them, and I want to take all their pain away. I want her to still be here with us so that her sweet children can see all the obstacles she had overcome and see just how much she loved them.

Tonight I remembered that a new Ensign had come in the mail while I was in Arizona. I opened it up and the first story in there is by the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson and it is called "May We So Live." As I was reading it over, one of the quotes he uses says, "How fragile life, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existance. And so I ask,"What are we doing with today?" I know my today's are about coping and trying to find the way to grieve and still be the mother my children need me to be. I know as time goes on, I will be able to balance my life and find ways to honor the memory of my sister. Today, I will find the strength to move forward with the help of my own family. Today, I will hug my children and husband and tell them how much I love them. Today, I will tell my family and friends how much they mean to me. Today, I will start writing down stories of my sister so that one day I can give them to her children and they will remember what a wonderful person she was. Today, I will find joy in little things in my life. I will remember that I have wonderful parents and brothers who love me and we, as a family will get through this time and come out on the other side a lot closer. I am very blessed to have a loving family that supports me and will help me get through this difficult time in my life. I have wonderful memories of my beautiful sister that I will cherish. I have been blessed in my lifetime to have had a sister. She is my best friend.