This week has been full for me. My week started off re-visiting a very painful time which was the death of my sister. July 27th was the 1 year anniversary of her death. It's been a long year. Over the last year, I have spent a lot of time working on healing, forgiving, loving, and moving on. I still have my moments where I miss her terribly, but they are just moments, and not days. Her death affected every aspect of my life. I was unmotivated, unproductive, and down.
There was an end in sight. This week marked many changes.
Before my sister died, I had lost 50 lbs. After her death, I had gained 30 back. (I am down 5 now though!!!) This last year, I have been working really hard on healing, finding the place I need to be, and moving forward. I have found that as I have been working towards my goals, that all aspects of my life need to be in order to make any measurable progress. When one area was working, another was failing. I had to figure out a way to sync myself. 2 of my big goals have been achieved. One of the biggest ones was finished Tuesday night. It was time, and I was ready. I can't wait to get back to the one place that I really need to be.
My second goal I achieved tonight. While achieving this one goal, I realized I had to let one of my other ones go, for now. I really wanted to do a triathlon this year. I am not ready. Not physically, mentally, or emotionally. I am on the path and maybe next year will be the year. It's still a goal, just not one front and center. So the other goal I reached tonight was to run. I wanted to run at least 2 miles. As I finished my last lap I thought to myself, "I got this." And then I kept going. I will toot my own horn for a minute...I did 2.5 tonight. That was huge for me. It felt great to push myself harder than I have in a long time. It felt good to be focused and how easily it fell into place when all the aspects are in sync. For the first time in a long time, I felt really, really good. It feels like a lot has changed and the healing is well on it's way.
I know that I am going to be ok. I know that my family will be ok. I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband that loves and supports me. We have fun together. He makes me laugh even when I don't want to. We are going to Italy next year. It's time to have our honeymoon! I have 3 beautiful children that bring me so much joy that my "cup runneth over". They push me to my limits. They wear me out. But they are mine and I am a better person because I have the opportunity to be their mother.
I have wonderful friends. Friends that I have re-connected with who are more important in my life now than they ever realize. Family that accepst me and loves me. A new friend that stops by to give a hug because she understands what it's like to have a "moment". Friends that know when a good movie and a cry is exactly what I need (and go to Italy with!!). Friends that bring their babies over so I can munch on them when I have a moment of weakness and think I may want another one. (It passes quickly...every time!) A friend who has become like a sister to me. A friend who has been a friend for many years and knows that our standing date w/ Kenny Chesney is important and a priority and I know that if I need her she is a phone call away. I am so blessed.
I also have a very supportive Bishop that has made an incredible difference in my life over the past year and has helped me get to the place I need to be and haven't been for a long time.
It's time. Change is happening now and it feels right.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
My date went well....
My one most favorite person in the whole world!! My usual date!
He's up there somewhere!
He was singin' to just me. There was a vibe. If I could have been up closer....I would have been up there sining' with him. Oh well, there's always next year! (It's not the best pic, but considering it was my with my camera phone...not too bad!)
Me, Karalee, and Shenagh. What fun girls night. Same time, same place next year girls!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
More to come...
There's a lot more to post, but since I have other motherly duties to attend to.... I will have to post more later!
The Japanese Garden
One of the highlights on our trip was riding MAX downtown and going to the Japanese Garden. It was absolutely beautiful. Kev was mesmerized and I know he was taking mental notes on what he could implement in our own yard! We had a great time and it was a fun day trip!
Alex was ready to go!
Luke showed us around with his map!
Wearin' them out!
A short break. Luke was mad because he totally biffed it on the rocks!
My favorite people!
Loved this little archway thing.
(Note to self...this is not a good look for me!!!) Everyone else looks so good!!!
The beginning of our Oregon Trip!
Trying to keep everyone entertained on the first part of the trip!
B had to "create" her own space away from the boys. This was her solution!
The "Big Daddy" doing all the driving. (And gettin' a bit of sun on those pasty white legs!)
Still being good!
Just checking things out!
Time for a pit stop!
Headin' out of Idaho and on our way to Oregon!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
July 11, 2009
July 11, 2009
Yesterday was my sister's birthday. My mom and dad took some flowers to the cemetery for all of us. But, being in Utah, we wanted to do something up here. Me and Bailey talked about it the day before and we decided we would get some balloons and let them off on her birthday. So, when Kev got up on Saturday, we ran a few errands and stopped to get some balloons. When we got home, we all wrote a little note on the balloons then we let them go. It was a great thing for us to be able to do something for Sara. Not only for me, but for the kids too. B has been missing Sara a lot these past few days, so I wanted to make sure we did something to remember her and let her know that we are thinking about her; especially on her birthday. We love you so much Sara and miss you.
Father's Day
The boys treated dad to a "stinky" foot rub on Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day to a GREAT dad! We love you!
Monday, July 6, 2009
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