I usually blog about family stuff, but this one is about me. These are a few random thoughts that I have been having and needed a place to write them down.
I was in my car the other night, and I pulled over for a minute to do something since the weather was terrible and I didn't want to explain a crash to Kev. As I was sitting there, I was going over some things in my mind. A song came on the radio and it's been playing over and over in my head the past few days.
Now everybody stands up
The congregation sings
It's a song of sweet forgiveness
And as the chorus rings
The wind blows clear my memory
The pages start to turn
Then suddenly I'm singin'
The moment that I learn
One of these days I'm gonna love me
And feel the joy of sweet release
One of these days, I'll rise above me
And at last I'll find some peace
Then I'm gonna smile a little
Maybe even laugh a little but
One of these days I'm gonna love me
Funny how when you are listening, you hear the things you are supposed to.
The wheels are always spinning in my head these days. I had someone ask me, why do you think you are here? What is your big purpose to be here? I said, "I have no idea." It really caught me off guard, being asked that. I have been thinking a lot about that too. I know I am here to be a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I am sure there is more; there's a lot for me to still learn. I did have a moment when I was sitting in Primary with my class last Sunday (I teach the 10 year olds - B's class!) and I was listening to the songs that I haven't sang myself for years. A thought popped into my head....Be like a little child and go back to the basics again. So, that's what I am working on right now. I know it's a process and I am really trying to be open to hear the direction and the words that I need to hear right now. Steady the course for now...
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4 comments:
Nik- you are so strong and inspiring. Simplicity is often the answer. It's when we allow ourselves to get wrapped in the superfluous in life that we lose connection and meaning. I have no doubt you will find what you are looking for!
and what's not to love about you? Someday soon when the clouds lift you'll see what all the rest of us see, a beautiful strong, giving and caring woman! You rock and I love the song lyrics, it's another one by Tim McGraw, right?
I love my girl !! You're part of our purpose too - we love you and we're here for you. Glad you didn't crash the car !!!
Love ya
Oh, honey, what can I say...I wish you were not going thru this sad time, but you are and you will get thru it..just give it some time. This last year has affected us all, we can see the pain in you and your brothers. But we have each other and we are all being strong for each other and just trying to get thru one day at a time. You have the Lord to hold on to.. let His strength enfold you and give you some peace.
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